This guest post is offered by our associate therapist Madison Parikka, AMFT, who brings a warm, curious, and compassionate presence to her clinical work. Madison draws from the inherent wisdom of the mind, body, and spirit, and integrates creativity, nature, and mindfulness into her therapeutic approach. She supports adults, teens, couples, and LGBTQIA+ community members in exploring identity, relationships, life transitions, grief, and the many complexities of being human. In this guest post, Madison shares a personal and accessible reflection on how an unexpected resource reshaped her relationship to meditation and offered a playful doorway into self-connection.
As a therapist and a reader -and by ‘reader’ I mean I read heaps of books until I was in college and then got overwhelmed and only read for academic purposes until I recently remembered reading could be fun again- my bookshelves are full of the writings of many brilliant spiritual teachers, clinicians, and thinkers. Lori Gottleib, Irv Yalom, Anne Lammot, Pema Chödrön, Robin Wall-Kimmerer, Clarissa Pinkola-Estes, bell hooks, and the Gottmans all grace the shelf next to my telehealth desk. But I’d like to share a children’s book that a past therapist of mine gave to me in my mid-20’s that completely changed the way I meditate. And by ‘changed the way I meditate’ I mean it offered an access point into meditation that didn’t feel so serious and made me excited to connect with myself in this way instead of dreading a practice I thought I was supposed to do to be mindful and enlightened.
A Handful of Quiet by renowned Buddhist monk, activist, poet, and author Thích Nhất Hạnh is a big gift in a small package. And frankly, I think a children’s book on meditating is actually the perfect format whether you’re experienced or brand new. Something about the book having illustrations and gentle language helps calm my brain, and allows me to settle into the most helpful meditative frame of all- that it’s just not that serious! I get so much more out of the experience if I take my expectations way down, and allow it to be a practice more of settling and connecting than of enlightenment and change. Meditation in our modern day has lots of preconceived images attached to it, such as being completely quiet, crosslegged, eyes closed, deep breaths, and simply noticing our thoughts without interacting with them. This book presents meditation with some structure, and activities if you’re a more “tangible” and active meditator like me. In my meditation “practice” (I say practice VERY loosely) I thrive on having a script or a chant to ground me, and my experience is especially rich if I am able to integrate some imagery, as is offered in this book.
The book begins with an introduction to the four main components of this meditation: flower, mountain, water, and space. Explaining each of these concepts, the participant is invited to draw each of these things, while taking deep breaths. The idea is that we all have each of these things within us, and this meditation supports us in cultivating and restoring connection to these vital parts. The flower represents being “fresh, beautiful, and open to the moment.” The mountain represents being solid, calm, and reliable. The water represents stillness, seeing things clearly, and tranquility. The space represents freedom and spaciousness, inside and out. The reader is then encouraged to find four pebbles, marbles, or beans- to move across from one pile to another while you move through each segment. The book provides several versions of the meditation, ranging from short and simple, to longer and more in depth. The reader/meditator is guided through each component to locate freshness, calm, clarity, and freedom, through whichever version of the words feel best for the present session. This book is a flexible offering, open to a wide variety of meditators, young and old, new and experienced, and still or fidgety.
Allowing the mind to engage with the flower/mountain/water/space imagery while grounding and connecting has made me excited to meditate. It almost feels like play, in a way. This book and the richness it provides to my meditative practices are parts of a large well of connective tools that I utilize to take care of myself. Connection with the self, our bodies, loved ones, communities, and the ecosystems we live within is vital. Being a human is wild and hard, and finding little ways to play and slow down and just be is necessary. I hope this book brings you joy, and if you want to know what else I am reading, I invite you to visit my website – I’d love to be in touch. Happy reading!
Madison Parikka, AMFT, https://www.mjparikkatherapy.com/